There seems to be something wrong with my way of thinking. If it were right, I wouldn't be pondering about you, or missing you, or wishing that we talked a whole heck of a lot more than we do. I don't like being sad.. I'd rather be proud of the way it was and look back on it with a smile.

Instead of the smile, all I get are teary eyes and wishful dreams. Really... dreams. Memorable, vivid dreams. One of the best dreams I've ever had.. and I can't even enjoy it. I spend the next 24 hours detoxing the mental high and calm myself back down to the saddening reality. How pathetic do I sound?

How in the world can it effect me this poorly? How dare I let the negative consume all the joy.

I don't want to lose the joy. I don't want to leave the joy.

That's the only sad part about leaving home.

My parents asked me for a Christmas list.
The only thing that I could come up with is to be healthy again.

how narrow-minded of me.

you owe me nothing.

i owe you copiously.

debt i will repay.

The only reason to run is fear.
Fear is easily fixed by imagining
how much better it will be once you're there.
There is only the place you dream of
because you fear.

Don't run.
NOTHING bad can come from there.
Stop. saying. goodbye.

If life could fit in a fortune cookie...

The end is getting closer.

It's starting to seem more real.

Bittersweet feeling, definitely.